Our very last first day of preschool.

            I remember my oldest’s first day of preschool like it was yesterday.  He was so excited about the Lightning McQueen backpack he picked out at Target and his little matching two-pocket folder.  This was before he realized he was about to be left somewhere for the very first time.  Typical toddler crying ensued, and for the entire four-week summer session, he cried almost all day every day.

            Fast-forward to the start of his first, actual school year when he was almost three, and it seemed to only get worse.  I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a single morning for three months they didn’t have to peel him out of his carseat in the carpool line.  As they drug him away each day, little arms outstretched, I thought I might vomit.  Of course, I was also six weeks pregnant, so that might have bolstered the need to spew.

            By Christmas, he still got teary-eyed on the way to school, but only cried sporadically.  Then the drama kind of started again after the long Christmas break and being home with me every day.  At the end of year one, crying ceased completely.  This is why I am feeling quite uneasy about my youngest starting preschool tomorrow.

            Technically, his program started on Monday.  But since I was in LA and this was only the second time I’d ever left the boys, I decided it might be a bit much for him to start school with me gone.  He could have gone Wednesday.  But I hadn’t seen him in five days and really needed the snuggle time.  Now, it’s Thursday evening and I have to send him tomorrow or he might lose his spot.

            I know he needs to go.  He needs to make his own friends and interact with other two-year-olds.  Right now, he plays like a five-year-old and bowls over kids his age.  I’m the one who’s not ready.  This is the last time I can consider him a baby.  Tomorrow, he will be a preschooler.  And though not tangible, it is still different.

            By 8:45 I will have dropped Crews off.  By 9, Teague will be at camp.  It’s the very last first day of preschool for our family.  But I keep telling myself I still have a lot of other firsts to look forward to.  Good and bad.