I don't usually hug strangers, but I do often talk to them. I find myself chatting with random people while waiting in lines. I talk to other people who are with their kids. I'll talk to just about anyone in a bar (a trait that often drives my friends a little bonkers). And over the years, I have really gotten to know the people that work at my favorite grocery store.
I never really noticed this until about 4 years ago when my mom was shopping with me and the kids at the Harris Teeter on James Island. When we walked in, we were promptly greeted by Mr. Don the produce guy who asked what I would be cooking that night. He talked to Teague, checked in with Crews who was still tiny, then introduced himself to my mom. We chatted about his wife's recent surgery and his grandkids then we moved on to the meat section. There, John called out and waved. I mentioned I'd seen him mowing grass a few streets over the day before and he explained that the people in his neighborhood take turns grooming the sidewalk by the neighborhood entrance. He gave me my steaks and we said goodbye. Then at checkout, Ms. Wanda told me her daughter finally had her baby two days before and decided to move back from Columbia to Charleston.
As we walked through the parking lot to my car, my mom was looking at me strangely and I had no clue why. As we loaded groceries she said, "How do you know all of those people?" And I said, "I don't know. I just talk to them when I shop and I cook a lot, so we're there a lot." Her response: "I'm just kind of shocked. You've always been so introverted and never wanted to talk to anyone."
It was true. The key word being "was." I'm not sure when I became such an extravert. I suppose it happened gradually, starting in grad school. But I love checking in with those people at the Teeter and I think it's cool that they've watched my kids grow, my family change, and genuinely want to know what I'm up to. In fact, when I was going through the divorce, two of the people at the grocery store offered to write affidavits regarding what a good mom I was. Ms. Wanda repeatedly said, "You are in here with both of those boys almost every other day. You buy good food, cook homemade meals, and you're always so patient with them. We'll tell everyone you're a great mom!" And though I did not rely on the peeps from the grocery store to establish my character and vouch for my parental ability, it was nice to know they felt that way. It was nice to know people noticed.
So today, I made my usual rounds through the Teeter saying hi while I shopped. And when I went to check out, I noticed the young girl at the register was doing all she could not to cry. I smiled and she really tried to smile back. As I swiped my debit card, I noticed a tear rolling down her cheek and she worked quickly to wipe it away. I couldn't help but ask if she was ok, and she made a gesture in response that was somewhere between yes, no, and I just want to collapse in a heap. As she handed me my last bag, her tears started flowing. I leaned in, gave her a big hug, and told her, "It will get better. Probably not today. But it will." She looked a little shocked to be hugged by a stranger, but definitely not offended. So I smiled and left.
On my way home, John the meat guy called my phone. He has my number because he calls me whenever they get monkfish in at the store. He said he saw me hug the cashier and went over to check on her after I left. He asked, "Do you know Whitney?" And pointed to me as I went out the door. The girl responded, "The lady that just left? No. But she gave me a hug and I haven't been hugged in months. I really needed that hug." And John just wanted to let me know that hug was important.
So, no, I will not make a habit of hugging strangers. But yes, I'm glad I did today. Because sometimes all it takes is just knowing that one person might care, and none of us are really alone.
If you Take it on the Run, and say That Ain't Love, but Don't Let Him Go, then you Can't Fight this Feeling, but I could Keep on Loving You then it might be Time for me to Fly.
When I was in high school, I fell in love with REO Speedwagon. Not the same way I fell in love with Davey Jones from The Monkees (OK, I didn't realize he was already 50 and I was watching reruns until my mom took me to see them live in Memphis and when they came onstage I asked who they were and then I cried because he was old). Or the way I loved Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block and believed we were meant for each other and would get married and have babies.
No, the way I loved REO was different.
I don't ever remember seeing a picture of REO Speedwagon. In fact, by the time I fell in love with their music, they were probably done touring for the time and their top 5 hits had long since left the charts. But in a little green Honda with my friend Erin Hardy, we discovered a mutual, undying love for all things REO, a love that still permeates both of our lives today.
I honestly can't even estimate how many times we listened to The Best of REO Speedwagon tape. I know I went through 3 of them in high school and I still keep the 3rd and final one in my nightstand. It has lived in Mississippi. South Carolina. California. Florida. And may or may not still play if I shoved it in my car. Wait, does my car even have a tape player?! Must check on that later...
Anyway.
A few months ago, I was notified by Ticketmaster that REO was coming to Charleston. Because my New Year's resolution was to see as many live shows in 12 months as possible, AND I've been waiting my entire life to see them, I immediately snapped up 2 tickets. Little did I know that hours later a multitude of people would text me wanting to go, but I had good seats and my work was done.
Fast forward to last Saturday night, a.k.a. surprisingly one of the best shows I have EVER been to.
Don't get me wrong, I was extremely excited to see them. But a tiny part of me feared I was going to see some very old dudes in bad clothes who would stand around the stage, not sing their hits, and do so in voices almost unrecognizable. Let's face it, it happens. There is nothing as depressing as a lead singer no longer being able to hit the notes he is famous for. However, absolutely none of these things happened.
Instead, these guys came out and gave the show of a lifetime. There is no way they ever had more energy back in the 70's and 80's than they do now. They were in great shape. They ran all over that stage for god-knows-how-long without a break. Kevin Cronin sounded just as good as he did when the band was signed in 1972. And they sang every single song I adore. I was going absolutely insane. And I may or may not have dropped a beer on the lady in front of me, but in hindsight it was really her fault. I mean, who sits in their seat when every other person in the room is standing? It's your duty as a concert-goer to stand. Or get a beer dropped on your head.
So I bought my awesome t-shirts:
Loved my seats:
And really tried to video as much as I could.
But I was so freakin' excited, the sound on my phone apparently sucks, I sang over most of my videos, and then got so crazed I forgot I was filming. So the videos are a little bit of a let-down. But I don't care. It totally ruled.
Oh, and Erin Stone, there is a total shout-out to you from me at the end of your song! ;)
Take it on the Run
Can't Fight This Feeling
That Ain't Love
Time for Me to Fly