Today's playlist.

Yeah, Yeah.  I know.  Not the most uplifting, but still totally kick*ss!

Taylor Swift – Eyes Open

Rob Pattinson – Never Think

Adele - Rumor Has It

Neon Trees - Everybody Talks

Christina Perri – Distance

Taylor Swift – Safe and Sound

Lykke Li - Possibility

Crowded House – Don’t Dream It’s Over

Leighton Meester – A Little Bit Stronger

Dixie Chicks - I’m Gonna Let Him Fly

Gotye - Someone that I Used to Know

Rob Pattinson – I Was Broken

Taylor Swift – Today Was a Fairytale

Eminen – Love the Way You Lie

Freedy Johnston – Bad Reputation

Maroon 5 - Misery

Heart – Alone

Dixie Chicks – Cowboy Take Me Away

Phil Collins - True Colors

Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart

Radiohead – True Love Waits

Taylor Swift – Love Story

The Cure – Just Like Heaven

A beautiful mess.

Years ago when I was in grad school, Colin traveled constantly.  There were periods of time when I wouldn't see him for four weeks.  And one time when he was in Greece, we couldn't even catch each other on the phone for over ten days.

Weird or not, I always had this thing where I refused to move anything on his desk or wash his pillowcase until he was safely back at home. 

Now that the kids split their time between my house and Colin's, I find myself doing the same thing with their stuff. 

Yes, I clean up the dishes, crumbs, and mud they leave behind.  But I just can't bring myself to move things they were playing with or created.

Sundays are the hardest.  They've been gone for two days and I know I have one more long night without them.  But seeing their stuff where they left it is like getting a tiny squeeze that says,  "We'll be back!"

Here's what they left me on Friday.  : )

Lego originals on the dining room table.

Dinosaurs who attacked the doormat and left it askew.

Bath toys that escaped from the tub.

An "elevator" attached to my blinds and our bedtime books from Thursday night.

Teague's phonics books on my nightstand.

An unmade bottom bunk with more blankets than any one person could possibly need.

Wolverine's gloves attacking Lightning McQueen while Nemo looks on.

Because sitting in the closet while learning the alphabet and numbers while playing a Phineas and Ferb guitar makes perfect sense.

Buzz and his new friend.

It's a beautiful mess.  The best kind of disorder.  And one I won't straighten up because it is Teague and Crews perfection.

You found WHAT in the dryer?

I am a notoriously poor pocket-checker.  The number of times I have sent my husband's entire wallet through the washing machine can't be counted on one hand.  I have had the pleasure of removing just about every color of melted crayon from the walls of the dryer.  I'm pretty sure I have never done a load of landry without hearing coins knocking around.  And my kids have kinda been banned from wearing belts because they have rotted or frayed from too many water/heat exposures.

But this morning when I pulled the laundry out of the dryer, I was shocked by just how many items were caught between the door and the lint trap.  I swear the kids must be playing  a joke on me becasue there is simply no way I missed this much stuff!

Yep, you're seeing that right.  There is 1 ninja sword, a gumball machine puppy, a lego, a baby chick, a shell, a piece of quartz or some other mystery stone, R2D2, a penny, a dime, a rock, and a nametag from a dog who has not lived with us in 6 years.

It truly scares me to think about what is behind their beds...

A song a year.

Tonight, after tucking Crews in and finishing up homework, Teague and I scaled his bunk beds to watch his solar system spin and talk about important things.  You know, things like: "Who started the idea of prayers?"  "Why don't you wear boxers, Mom?"  And, "Do you have a different favorite song every year?"

I told him I pretty much have a different favorite song every day.  But clearly that was not the answer he wanted.  It was obvious he'd been thinking about this and had an agenda.

"Mom," he said, "can you pick a favorite song for every year you've been alive and make a playlist?"  He also added that he knew "it's a lot of years."

How could I possibly refuse such a sincerely adorable request?  I know I won't be able to do it overnight, but I think it's a great project we can work on together.  It will provide me with an opportunity to expose him to music he's never heard and I'll get to remember what stuck out most each year.  Crews just loves music and shaking his total lack of a booty so he'll be into it too.

So... 1978.

I would love to list the entire Grease soundtrack, but I know Teague would say I'm cheating. 

Instead, I will choose Dolly Parton's Here You Come Again.  It's one of the first songs I ever remember hearing and loving. 

I'll keep you updated as we compile the Life of Whitney Playlist.

Oh, and by the way, Teague already made his :

Year One: ABC's
Year Two: Justin Roberts Willie Was a Whale
Year Three : The Four Tops Can't Help Myself (Sugar pie, honey bunch)
Year Four: Taio Cruz Break Your Heart
Year Five: Timbaland/Katy Perry If We Ever Meet Again
Year Six: Big Time Rush Halfway There

Not so "Anonymous"

Dear Anonymous poster who was too shy to post your name with your extensive comment,

I wasn't asking to be unfriended.  I did the unfriending.  But thank you for the additional negativity. 

Also, if you read the blog more carefully, you will notice I did not say I was a victim of cyberbullying.  I stated I had been bullied on Facebook, which is absolutely true.  I linked to the cyberbullying website because it is more likely to apply to my usual blog readers.

By the way, your email address posted with your comment.

Thanks!

PS If anyone is wondering where said "Anonymous" comment is, I deleted it due to an agreement put in place by my husband and I regarding family members speaking negatively about us in social media.

Bullying 2.0

Facebook bullying is nothing new.  It probably happens a million times a day to people all over the world; however, it is something which is personally new to me.  And let me assure you that it is devastating, threatening, and makes you feel utterly powerless.

Yes, I am going through a divorce.  Yes, people are upset.  But I wholeheartedly feel it is not the right of others to blatantly post vicious attacks on me on their Facebook pages. 

I’m going to stop here for a second and make it very clear that this has not been done by my husband.  I am accusing him of nothing.  In fact, I’m 99.9% sure that he asked for it to be removed.  And I’m grateful for that.

Anyway…

It’s easy to unfriend someone.  It only takes two clicks to delete them permanently from your news feed and no longer have to read their venom.  But I guarantee it is much harder to delete their attacks from your psyche.

Several of my previous blogs have been devoted to bullying and I’ve often discussed how important it is to me for my children to know how painful it can be and how wrong it is.  But this is not the time to teach.  There is no way I would try to explain my own personal bullying situation to them.  I don’t want them involved in the dissolution of my marriage and I would never encourage hatred towards people who are currently in their lives.

So if you ever think Facebook is the appropriate venue for tearing someone down, think again.  It only makes you look cruel and cowardly.

For more information on what cyberbullying is and how to stop it, please visit: www.stopcyberbullying.org

Last wedding anniversary.

Today is my 9^th wedding anniversary.  Nine years ago today I woke up on Little Palm Island off the coast of the Florida Keys and prepared for my incredibly intimate wedding on the beach.  It was sunny.  The water was calm.  And I was a total wreck.

Fast forward to today.  I’m sitting on the couch with my 3-year-old Crews.  I’m in Charleston, South Carolina.  We are watching Spongebob Squarepants.  It’s a nasty, dark, rainy day. 

Things couldn’t be more different.  Except that today, I am also a total wreck.

I am getting divorced.  It’s been a very rough few months.  But ultimately, it’s the right decision.

My highest priority is the boys.  And they have adjusted incredibly well to both the initial news and the subsequent separation.  They are strong, know they are loved by both of their parents more than anything in the entire world, and they will be the reason I hold it together on this, my last anniversary.

I guess in a way my new chapter starts today.  And I’m so happy to feel like writing again.

Overhaulin'

I wish I could say I'm being featured on an episode of the now-defunct TLC show that "transforms old cars into dream machines."  Not so sure about that Chip Foose, but it WOULD be amazingly fun to see my SUV turned into some ridiculous, souped-up, colorful, hot mess that Teague would die to ride in. 

Instead, the changes in my neck of the woods are much more global.  And in this post, I'm referring to the overhaulin' of my life as I know it.

In honor of this pre-midlife metamorphosis, which I hope results in more honesty and simplicity, I have changed the appearance of the blog to better reflect what I'm striving for.

Hope you enjoy the new look.  And embarking on this journey with me.  8 )