Their Sunday Best

Teague absolutely insisted on wearing a tie which required a last minute trip to Daddy's house.

Crews was irked about having to wear a non-Lightning McQueen themed shirt.

Friday night date night with Crews.

That's right ladies, the line forms here.

Get behind his mama and wait your turn because last Friday night, Crews showed me that I am definitely the most important lady in his life.

While Teague had a special double sleepover at his friend Coleman's house...

                                    (Thanks Molls & Joey)

Crews and I decided to take advantage of the mild May weather with dinner at Jim n' Nick's, dessert at River Street Sweets, and a shell-hunt/sailboat watch/cannon exploration at The Battery.

At first, I thought Crews looked a little lonely without his big brother...

But when I started the game of find the Crews on the cannon...

He perked right up.  Can you spot him?

I cornered him for one quick pic...

Then he was off.

We climbed more cannons...

Collected more shells, watched more sailboats...

Climbed cannon balls...

Hugged cannon balls...

Did the ultimate tourist-in-Charleston thing, a.k.a trying to pick up the welded cannon balls...

Then I was told by Crews that he had to poop. 

Just in case you're curious, there are no public restrooms at The Battery.  What I did have was an empty toy bin and a plastic bag which I used to create a makeshift potty in the way back of the car.  Crews made me take a picture, but it's pretty gross so I'll spare you. 

Regardless, he thought it was awesome.

And I thought my date was awesome.  Even if I did have to make a potty and wipe a hiney.

My Steel Magnolias

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. 

We had already taken a neighborhood bike ride.  Visited the bunnies down the street.  Climbed trees.  Rigged a makeshift climbing wall complete with rope and kerabiners.  Gone to church.  Left church a little early due to a sudden extreme hunger that surely was about to take the lives of the children (even though they had waffles before we left home).  Made an emergency trip to Andolini's for pizza.  Took the weekly trip to Costco (yes, they had a churro).  And finally, changed into our play clothes to do a little driveway exploration.

I hadn't noticed the buds on the magnolia tree.  We've been anxiously waiting for weeks.  The old leaves had dropped.  The boys collected them in Crews' special trailer attached to his John Deere.  And my boys LOVE magnolia leaves because they make perfect little boats.

But after several nights of rain storms, the buds not only appeared, but a single one blew free of its woody tethers and landed in the yard.

When I first held it out and asked the boys to guess what it was, Teague said, "an alien," and Crews said, "a rocket."  I think both both were good guesses. 

When I told them we were going to unfold it and see what was inside, Teague took off into the house.

Maybe he did think it was alien.  I wasn't sure.  But I heard him mumbling something about the office as he disappeared into the garage.

A few minutes later he returned with three legal pads and an enormous bag of colored pencils, crayons, and markers.

We carefully peeled back the petals, each taking a turn until the flower was open.

It was in no way pristine.  It had spent at least one night on the bug-filled ground.  But it still looked beautiful next to their cute little toes.

Then Teague instructed Crews and I to start drawing.

I'm so happy Teague had this idea. What a wonderfully creative end to a very busy day.

Ain't no stoppin' me now.

After a week of not blogging and subsequently feeling silenced and generally just like crap, I decided to keep right on blogging.  And though no one can read the blog at the moment, it still serves a purpose: It keeps me sane in a time when things are really crazy. 

When this mess is over, I will make the blog public again.  And all of my backlogged posts will be ripe for the reading.

Now, on to the important things...

THE KIDS!  8 )

Goodbye.

THIS IS MEANT AS PUBLIC NOTICE, NOT HARASSMENT:

No longer allowed to blog.
As of midnight tonight, my blog will no longer exist.
Thanks to my loyal followers and supporters.
You know what this space has meant.

Are you there God? It's me, Whitney. Yeah. Whitney Hendrickson. Yeah, I know it's been awhile.

I'll be the first person to tell you I'm agnostic.  I've blogged about it before.  It's no big secret or something I'm ashamed of.  But since I was about 17 or 18, I knew that I definitley believed in a higher power; I just didn't know exactly what that higher power was.

I've always noticed that when things are going poorly, I immediately start to pray when I crawl into bed at night.  But it took years before I realized that those prayers always began with, "Dear God..."  It's for that reason that I always beilived it important to give my children a foundation in religion.  Sometimes, we just need to know there is something bigger than us.  Sometimes we just need to have a little faith.

As mentioned before, my boys do not learn solely about Christianity and its holidays.  They learn about Judaism, Buddhism, and thanks to an Elmo DVD, they even have an understanding of the celebration of Kwanzaa.  They knew the difference between a menorah and a kinara long before I did.  In fact, Teague is the one who told me about it. 

I pride myself on the fact that Teague could recite the Lord's Prayer and the 23rd Psalm by age 3.  And I know it gives him comfort when we say it before bed each and every night.

Two weeks ago, my friend Jodi and were talking about church and how sometimes she just feels the need to stroll on down to the little chapel near her house on Folly.  I admitted I had been thinking about going myself, and taking the boys.  I also remember her saying something really funny in this conversation; she said, "Apparently Jesus lives in prison because everybody who goes finds him there."  We laughed about that one for awhile.

Now, I'm not saying I found Jesus last week.  Or that I went to prison.  But let me tell ya, when I was sitting in that court room last Monday, scared out of my mind and shaking, I got it.  When things get really bad, you NEED to feel like there's a possibility of something that can come to your aid. 

And for that reason, Teague and I joined the congregation of the James Island Presbyterian Church yesterday.

Teague was a a little shy upon first entering the chapel.  He examined the high ceilings and stained glass windows curiously.  He was a little apprehensive about the sheer size of the organ pipes and the 100 bells laid out on velevet draped tables.  But by the time he spotted four of our neighbors and settled onto the the third pew (with his 5 dollar offering in hand), he was excited.  Mesmerized.

His favorite parts?  Definitely the men's choir.  Because it was Mother's Day, only the men performed.  The sound was beautiful.  Rich.  Just as I remember from childhood. 

He also LOVED reciting the Lord's Prayer in unsion with the congregation.  You could see in his sparkling blue eyes how proud he was to know something all the grown ups did.  His pacing was impeccable.

As for me, I was amazed how the sermon centered precisely around what I am currently struggling with: issues of faith and trust.  The Pastor spoke,

     "A life without trust is frightening.  A life without faith is tragic."

I want to trust that everything will work out okay.  I would like to say I have faith that the best decision will be made for my kids.  But right now, with their world being turned upside down and our decisions for them out of our hands, I'm finding it very difficult to embrace the concepts of faith and trust.  I know I should take a leap, and that's why we went to church.  But when it comes to my kids, I'm finding it's hard to rely on the intangible.  Right now, the only reassurance is when I'm holding them tight and showering them with kisses.

Amanda.

A little over two years ago I met Amanda Guillot.  Well, technically, I met her a few years before that, but we didn’t become besties until we discovered a mutual adoration for The Twilight Saga. 

Twilight brought us together.  Our inherent coolness kept us that way.

Amanda is the most honest person I know.  She doesn’t take any crap, will confront you in a heartbeat, and she would NEVER tell you something because it’s what you want to hear.  Amanda’s strong suit is that even if it’s blunt and might upset you, she tells you because it’s the truth and you really need to hear it.  I know from experience.  She is like my own personal Jiminy Cricket.

Amanda’s positive attributes are virtually endless.

She is amazing with kids.  They seriously seek her out and always want to be near her.  My kids love her to death and if she misses a Sunday dinner (which she pretty much hasn’t in 2 years), they are concerned.

She is a ridiculously hard worker.  This girl doesn’t know the meaning of a personal day and is acutely aware of how her absence would affect her coworkers.  Yet when I needed her to meet with my lawyer and it simply could not be done after work hours, she gave her office a week’s notice and lost out on an hour of pay because I needed her.  (I paid her back in food and movies J)

She is an AMAZING baker.  Her coconut cake is divine.  Her crunches and cookies are heavenly.  And if you think you’ve had a praline before, you should check yourself.  Amanda was born in Louisiana and makes the most authentic, delicious, pralines I’ve ever had outside of New Orleans. 

She is a computer whiz.  I really think she missed her calling.  She can fix anything and everything technology-related from Macs and PCs, to receivers, to iPhones, to faulty internet. She has the magic touch.

She is fearless.  She won’t back down from doing what is right. 

And knowing her makes me a better person every day.

Thank you for always being there for me, Amanda. 

Thank you for sleeping over when I was adjusting to being in the house alone and had to spend my first nights without the kids.

Thank you for never letting a day go by in the last few months without checking in on me via text, Facebook, or a phone call.

Thanks for hugging my kids.

Thanks for eating Fruit Loops with me at 10 o’clock at night while watching silly movies like Monte Carlo and Prom.

Thanks for going to yoga with me and laughing at the guy with the tight pants whose bits and pieces were in your face.

Thanks for stopping by Krystal on your way home from Atlanta just to bring me a sackful of burgers because they are my ultimate guilty pleasure.

Thanks for helping plan my birthday parties.

Thanks for going to midnight showings and Twilight marathons with annoying teenage girls for the last few years.  Oh, and for enduring my PF Changs garlic noodle breath at said marathon.

Thanks for buying me dinner and cheesecake when you work so incredibly hard for your money.

Thanks for wiping my tears.

Thanks for loving chicken wine and the same books as me.

Thanks for introducing me to Duck Dynasty and My Strange Obsession.

Thanks for believing in me.  Encouraging me.  Reading every word of my novels.

Thanks for telling me I’m a fantastic mother every day.

Pretty much, just thank you for being you.  You are the epitome of the word friend.

And you deserve every happiness imaginable.

It's been 5 days and I still can't catch my breath...

I haven't had the heart to blog this week. 

Because an agreement could not be reached about primary custodianship of the boys, the judge decided to appoint them a guardian and take matters into his own hands.  He will make the decision about who is the primary.  A guardian has to come into our home for evaluations.  And I just never thought it would come to this.

It's been 5 days and still I have heard nothing.  No decision has been made. 

Now it's Friday at 5:29 and knowing that this long weekend without answers lays ahead, I just want to hold the boys tight and never let go.  Unfortunately, it's not my weekend.  Fortunately, Sunday is Mother's Day and it was agreed they could spend the day with me.

I want to thank everyone who has been so concerned for my kids and who has gone out of their way to make sure that they feel "normal."  This ranges from my good friend, Amanda who surprised Teague in carpool with me, to my dear friend Rhett who invited Teague over for a special playdate and pizza, to one of my nearest and dearest, Tracy, who met me at Riverbanks Zoo today with her 2 kids and totally played along like everything in my life was great. 

The truly good friends are the ones who know not to discuss ANY of this when the kids are with me, even if they are in another room.  Six year olds listen.  They definitely talk.  And at this juncture, I guess it's good that they are in the tattle-tale phase.

In the meantime, this is what matters.

Riverbanks Zoo today.

Keeping smiles on these beautiful faces. 

And Lord knows, Colin AND I have BOTH made mistakes.

Family Court Eve

I honestly have no clue how many of my friends or readers have been through a truly ugly divorce.  I never thought I would have one.  But as I sit here thinking about my court date tomorrow (and want to throw up all over the keyboard) I feel like I have to share SOMEthing.  At least some small part of this experience.  After all, writing is my outlet.

I can't say much.  Let's be honest: All parties are being represented by very powerful attorneys and everyone has a similar goal in mind:

Win.

But there is no winning in divorce.  EVERYONE loses.  Epsecially the kids. 

Still, the kids are what tomorrow is all about.

I desperately hope  to go to court tomorrow and walk out with 50/50 custody of my children.  If that doesn't happen, then there will be a war.

I won't be bullied anymore.  I'm tired of the lies.  I'm tired of being smeared.  And I have made it clear that I will NOT go down without a fight.

By tomorrow afternoon, I hope to have at least part of this horrible divorce behind me.  And to all the haters, go start your own blog and stop lurking and posting nasty things on mine.

I only want the best, most supportive outcome for my kids.  And that includes providing an environment which is free of hypocritical grown-ups forgetting to mind their own business.

I am a mom first.  Everything else is secondary.

And anyone who claims differently is both a fool and a fraud.

This is why I fight.

This is why I have to stay strong.

This is why I won't give in.

This is what makes it all worthwhile.


(This is also apparently when I start thinking in Nike commerical form.)