Naughty or...naughty?

Wouldn't it be entertaining if I had some racy story about a hot date to follow up that title?

The closest thing to it would be that while I was having dinner at Sesame tonight, some guy kept trying to give me shots of Fireball and when he tried to slide over the 4th attempt, he fell face-first off his chair and landed on the floor. 

Now I would like to say I just have that effect on people, but I'm pretty sure he was 5 Fireballs deep on an empty stomach when I arrived.  And I don't drink liquor.  Ever.  So to be clear, this post is NOT about me being naughty.  It's about my 12-week-old dog who is going to be the death of me.

This is Koda:

 

And if Koda wasn't so damned cute, he might be back with his breeder.  OK, he is really smart too.  And very happy.  And loves everyone.  And watches out for his brothers.  And thinks I hung the moon.  And I love him to pieces. 

But I digress..

Koda is NAUGHTY!

He eats my rugs.  Steals legos.  Hunts for shoes.  Licks chew-deterrent spray.  Dug up the flowers I planted in the 30 degree weather on Saturday.  Jumps in the pond almost daily.  Chases our cat, Gumballs.  Opens doors in a very stealthy manner.  Gets his fat butt stuck under my bed when I try to get him downstairs.  Was found in the neighbor's yard today while I was at the gym.  And 20 minutes ago, he escaped out the front door when I cracked it to grab a package.

I 'm convinced the escape was premeditated because when he saw me crack the door and bend over, he ran full-force at the back of my legs, knocked me over and never looked back.  He flew over the stairs.  Sped past the garage.  And by the time he passed the 4th sago palm, I knew I needed to get up and run.  By the time I made it to the palms, he was in the street.  By the time I made it to the street, he was 2 houses down.  And even though I was running as fast as I could, he hit the second stop sign before I reached the first.

At that point I was screaming like someone had abducted my child and the grubby little neighborhood dog who never seems to go inside, get a bath, or know what a leash is had joined in the fun.  Of course the grubby dog was slower than Koda and I, so he was the dirty little caboose to our ridiculously spastic train. 

As Koda slowed to make a turn towards an iron gate, I hurled myself forward and managed to grab that living, breathing, 5 hour energy shot by the tail.  Then I had to carry him all the way home because I definitely had not thought to grab a leash before my hot pursuit.

They say there's a reason for everything.  And I'm guessing the reason I started running 2 years ago was so that I could chase this sled dog through the streets of South Carolina.  If this had happened to Pre-fitness Whitney, that dog would probably be in North Carolina by now and I would still be by the first sago palm. 

I know puppies will be puppies and one day he won't be so naughty.  And I know if Greg Graeber reads this he will laugh his ass off because he told me Koda was gonna escape and that he would be VERY fast.

And while I'm sitting in my 70 degree house in sweats next to the fire, Koda appears to be in 7th heaven on the porch in 40 degree temps.  But I think he's still a little miffed that I grabbed his tail. 

I should have known when we found him like this on Day 2, proudly sitting on top of his crate instead of in it, that he would be a trouble-maker.  But he's just about the cutest trouble-maker I've ever seen!