Things old people say: Inappropriate or hilariously acceptable?

Last night I was watching Talk Soup, because let's be honest, I get my weekly news from Joel McHale and my daily reports from Giulianna Rancic on E! News.  Yes, I had just taken a Lunesta and was also re-reading 50 Shades of Grey, but I swear I heard Ed Asner make an inappropriate comment about his role in the epic TV miniseries Roots. 

Now, it's possible I was only half-listening and/or was on the verge of slumber, but when I tried to Google what he said, it's like the interview never happened.  Was it because he's old and senile so his behavior was excused?  Did people just laugh it off?   Did I make it up?  The world will never know.

But today when I showed up at Massage Envy for 90 minutes of relaxation, there was a woman who I estimated to be about 80 standing at the counter.  This was the conversation I overheard:

Girl at Desk: "So would you like to join now and set up your first appointment?"

80 Year Old Lady: "Well, I have a few more questions.  Can I get a man to do the rubbing?"

Girl at Desk: "Yes, ma'am."

80 Year Old Lady: "Well, will he rub my buttocks?"

Girl at Desk: "Ummm."

80 Year Old Lady: "Because I like that.  Is that an option?"

Girl at Desk: "Ummm."

80 Year Old Lady: "And could you make sure he has big hands?  My husband had tiny hands and I never did care for them."

At that point, I was called back by my masseuse so I have no idea what that poor girl at the desk said.  But I was dying inside.  I thought that old lady was hilarious and I thought it was cool that she knew what she wanted and asked for it.  She seemed not to have a care in the world other than getting her buttocks rubbed, nor did she care who knew it.  There were a few other people waiting who were equally entertained, though one did whisper she might be drunk.  But in general, the consensus was that she was old, and funny, and it was perfectly acceptable to say whatever she felt like saying.

Next, I went to the car dealership.  Some "expletive" bashed my taillight last week and I had to pay $235 to get it fixed.  While waiting, there was a little old man sitting next to me doing a crossword puzzle for about 30 minutes before he looked up and spoke:

Little Old Man: "You remind me of my daughter."

Me:  "Oh, well I hope that's a good thing." 

Little Old Man: "Yes, it is.  She's quite beautiful.  But I don't want to kiss her." 

The mechanic filling out my paperwork choked a little on his coffee and I just smiled and went back to reading my emails.  Even though it was slightly weird, I still thought that man was pretty funny.  I mean, who says that?  Old people, I suppose.  But if he had been 30, would I still have felt the same way?  Negative.

So I guess my point is this: I have a bad habit of laying it all out there. I often say things that are inappropriate and frequently I am guilty of TMI.  My liberal views flow out of me as easily as Cabernet flows in at my table, and I know my openness can be viewed as crass.  So perhaps old age will agree with me.  Maybe it will excuse the things I say or at least make them slightly more acceptable.

So there ya go.  In 50 years, my word vomit tendencies will be completely justified.  Though I really have no plans to reign them in in the meantime.