There isn't much that's tender about Tinder.

I haven't had a lot of free time lately.  I feel like things are really picking up for spring, and summer looks busier than ever.  But when I do have down time, I find myself either binge-watching House of Cards and Orange is the New Black, or playing on Tinder.

For those of you who don't know what Tinder is, it's an app.  It's often called a dating app, or a hookup app, but for me its pure entertainment.  I'll explain why

About a month and a half ago, a friend of mine first told me about Tinder.  It didn't sound like anything I would have an interest in, so I kind of forgot about it.  Then two Saturdays ago, she mentioned it again and said it was addictively entertaining.  This time I downloaded the app and set up the profile. 

Tinder works by pulling a few pics from your Facebook profile.  Once you join, your first name, age, and a photo is thrown into the Tinder mix.  Just to give you an idea, this is what mine looks like:

In your settings, you can specify if you want to see pics of men or women, you can specify an age range, and you can choose a search distance.  Tinder uses your current location to pull profiles of those near you.  You can choose to see pictures of people anywhere from less than a mile away, up to 100 miles.  Once you open the app, pictures pop up and you either tap the "X" if you are not interested, or the "Heart" if you are.  It's also referred to as "swiping left" or "swiping right."  If you swipe the person's pic to the right, you are giving them a heart.  If you swipe to the left, they're gone.  Got it?  Let's move on.

So if you "like" someone and they have liked you, then you get a message saying you have a match.  It then opens up a conversation that looks like a text.  And you can choose to message or not.  You never know if someone has swiped left or swiped right unless you both swipe right.

Now, like I said, I am not using this as a dating app.  In fact, in the words of Helen Fielding, I am currently "mad about a boy;" I have no intention of ever meeting any of these "matches."  However, what makes Tinder unbelievably entertaining is the strange assortment of pictures people use for their profiles, and the often insane, rambling bios they post. 

As a result, viewing Tinder has become a group activity with some of my friends.  It's like watching a train wreck; it's awful, but you just can't stop swiping.  In fact, my friend Jennifer and I have started a little friendly competition to see who can find the most bizarre Tinder profiles. 

And I just have to share the most random and disturbing ones:

Oh yeah.  You're a keeper.

What are you doing?  Just...what?!

Um...I have at least 500 pictures of my kids at the aquarium posing for the same pic.  Creepy.

No.  Just no.

This...well this guy actually has multiple pictures of receipts where he has dropped $1200 at a bar.  Yes dude, we are all SO impressed.

Do you really dress up squirrels?  Because there are multiple pics of you with squirrels in costumes.

You are fisting the gills of a dead animal.  Everybody wants you.

I don't even know what to say about your bio.

OK, this guy kind of fascinates me.  Clearly he likes to travel, but he also has an obsession with holding his butt cheek wherever he goes.  And taking a picture.  See the two pics below...

What?

Um.

You be proud of your tiny fish.  I bet you spent hours reeling that one in.

Is that Jean Claude Van Damme?

Have you matched with ANYONE?  I just don't think it's possible.

This is the kind of man EVERY woman wants.

Well, aren't you fun!

I have no words.

Killer.  Not even gonna hide it.

Church and bourbon.

Thank you for letting us know you're bipolar.  That's usually second-date type info.

Go to bed.  Stop letting your friends document your shenanigans.

So, that's Tinder.  It's hilarious.  And by the way, if your friends think it's funny to "heart" the weirdos, take your phone away immediately.  Because some of these people take a heart VERY seriously. Perhaps I will share their chastising remarks in another post!