If you can't say something nice...

***Warning: This is not a nice blog post, but necessary for me to heal.***

There are two ways this saying can go:

1) If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all.

2) If you can't say something nice, come sit next to me.

Now, most of the time, I like to consider myself a number 1'er.  I say number 1 to Teague almost on a daily basis.  But lately, I have definitely been feeling more like a number 2 devotee.  So today, I am going to be really nasty and let it fly about someone who is a coward, a horrible family member, and has done irreparable damage to my parents and I in recent months: my uncle.

I've always admired my uncle since the very first time I met him.  He is smart, witty, knows how to make a great argument, and has some phenomenal stories from his life.   I have always been drawn to him and I would consider us very close.

When he started spending more time in Charleston, I'd just given birth to Teague.  He dropped by frequently for homecooked meals and much-needed grown-up conversations.  Sometimes he even cooked for me .  He always praised me as a mother.  A student.  A multi-tasker.  He always encouraged me to fully explore my options and try new things.  He made me feel good about myself.  He boosted me up when I was feeling down.  And I just really truly loved him.

Above all: I trusted him. 

Fast-forward to my divorce where he has not only become a traitor to me and my parents, but doesn't even have the audacity to respond to our calls or emails.  I'm not going to go into details because at this point I wouldn't put it past him to have me thrown in jail just to be an even bigger ass. 

I know who reads my blog.  And I know this will quickly find him. 

So to you my dear uncle, I say: We all make mistakes and hurt people, but your commitment to total familial destruction is unrivaled.  I hope it feels good to have chosen someone else over your own blood, and it finally makes sense why the rest of the family hates you.  I always defended you.  Loved you.  Welcomed you into my home, my life and that of my kids. 

There is a special place for people like you.  And karma is a b###h.