10 things my six-year-old did to impress a friend.

It’s officially starting.  The whole I-know-I’m-gonna-get-in-trouble-but-I’m-gonna-look-like-a-rock-star-for-two-minutes-thing. 

I can see it now: Teague, 17 years old, wearing a football jersey and spray-painting something on the school wall.  He’s laughing.  Looking back to make sure his fellow football buddies are watching…

OK.  Let’s be honest.  That’s not how I see it at all.  I think Teague is more of a let’s-take-the-Laser-out-on-the-harbor kinda boy.  Sailing and golf will probably be his sports.  Not football. 

And he hates to color.  So the odds of him spray-painting a wall are pretty slim.  But you get my drift.  Things are changing.  He really wants to impress his friends.  And if that means a six minute time-out for an offense, apparently he will take it.

On Saturday, Teague had a friend over for a sleepover.  As soon as we got in the car, he only addressed his friend as “Dude,” and started each sentence with the term.  When I suggested we go out to lunch and his friend declined, Teague told me my suggestion was “lame.”  I know.  He totally gets that from me…

But once we got home, it became the “Teague Show.”  He wanted to rule the school.  Or at least the playroom. 

Here are 10 things he did which landed him in hot water.

1)      Unrolled a Fruit-by-the-foot and stuck it to the window.

2)      Put a chair on his top bunk bed and knocked half of the ceiling into his sheets.

3)      Demolished a Styrofoam cup (which had the remnants of his friend’s Sprite in it) and rubbed it into the activity table to hide the stickiness.  He also tried to hide the cup but I caught him.

4)      Took 12 paint cans from the garage and lined them up at the end of the driveway while I was putting Crews down for nap.

5)      Hammered the wood on his 3 week old bunk beds with a dinosaur bone while showing his friend, “How awesome I am at building.”

6)      Snapped the three lowest branches off of his favorite live oak climbing tree so that he could, “Decorate my jeep like Power Rangers Jungle Fury.”

7)      Shoved a car into the back of his brother’s diaper.

8)      Threw a pillow at my head.  (I know he was totally kidding and it wasn’t meant in a mean way, but still).

9)      Drove a monster truck (that I’d told him to put back outside) across the white carpet of the guest room.

10)  Repeatedly invited his little brother to join him and his friend in the Jeep then drove off before Crews could get in. 

He also opened a window in the bathroom while it was freezing outside and left it open for hours.  Pumped half a bottle of liquid soap into the sink (Alright, this might have been Crews).  And told his friend that his mom “toots.”

Teague is in no way perfect.  But on a typical day, he might make two bad decisions.  These behaviors were different.  And I swear they might have been accompanied by a maniacal laugh. 

Well, maybe the last part was in my head.  But there was definitely a smirk.

I know none of it is that bad. And I'm assuming it's just part of having a boy.  The constant one-upping and doing dumb crap?  This is uncharted territory.  I suppose I have A LOT to look forward to.